thepowerofme

This last week on Friday I noticed a wonderful part of the human mind.  It seems that folks are just resistant to change on many of the basic fundamental levels of ones every day life.  See, I was lucky enough to break two of our last 40 passenger buses and was forced to drive one of our smaller 15 passenger units for my route.  So as I got the news I got the bus ready with putting on my sign on the side of the bus so that potential passengers could read the sign as I pulled up beside them.  No to understand these little signs, they not only display the route that the bus is on but they are color coded as well for easy recognition.  Needles to say there were several instances that folks just gave me a smile and a wave as I pulled up not realizing this is the bus that they are needing to board.  It was so bad that once I had to honk the horn and point at the passengers that I pick up all the time to get them to realize that this is the bus they are actually needing to board.  At times it was very humorous and at others I was ready to just drive by and leave them standing there for another five minutes in the cold and frigid weather.  This was really insightful for me as to study how adverse we are when it comes to change.

Now this was something I couldn’t quite understand because of how many folks voted for our current President for nothing more than wanting change.  But what change have we really gotten.  We received more and more economic stimulus that influences big business and those with large amounts of money.  Not so much for the working man that goes through life struggling paycheck to paycheck.  Where is the relief to the working man and woman that are struggling to just stay afloat.  The idea of giving the banks more money so that loans are more readily available is great and all.  But, what good is it if the folks getting the loans can not really afford them any way.  Why do we as a country continue to reward and support failure?  I nearly choked the hell out of my computer when I saw that AIG was going to pay out 165 million bucks in bonuses when folks across this country are loosing their jobs left and right, but these top executives are going to get bonuses for sinking their ship.  That would be the equivalent of the company you are working for to give out millions if you don’t show up for work, or if you do show up, play computer games all day and never do a piece of work.  This is ludicrous, but yet this is the change that we can look forward to.  I believe that it isn’t the idea of change that people have a hard time accepting but the lack of real change.  We believe change is necessary to get things going on the right track but we are not seeing it so when some happens we don’t expect it, so we are not looking for it.

So in close when will this government really bring forth some real change.  Address the need for health-care reform.  Help every American to get the health care that they so desperately need to survive.  It is not enough to give them health insurance at an affordable rate, but setting the rates that are truly fair for the help that they are receiving.  Just as an example I have health insurance with a very low deductible.  But the max out of pocket expenses are horrendous.  The amount that we have to pay for major problems is more than my meager salary can even come close to afford.  Or when will the government get the clue that income taxes are not working any more and go to a national sales tax.  This is a tax that would move much faster than income taxes and this is one that the rich or the poor can not hide from.  Think for a moment of what would happen if the feds came up with a national 6% sales tax on purchases, excluding food and gasoline.  You go out and buy that $1500 flat screen television, you would have to pay $90 big ones.  No take that amount and place it on all Americans the amounts coming in would be staggering.  The idea of raising taxes on the wealthy sound great in theory but in practicality they will do more harm than good.  If I had a couple hundred million in the bank and I knew you were going to tax the hell out of what I made  that year I just wouldn’t work.  Now you get less and less, and companies would slow down production and things would go from bad to worse.  But things you can count on is that folks with money or without are not going to stop spending it.  Can you imagine Paris Hilton stopping her frivolous purchases of thousand dollar handbags, or a movie star not buying a 100k car.  No way, one thing you can always count on is that those folks that have money will all ways flaunt it.  Flashy cars, expensive clothes, and big homes will never go away.  With the use of a national sales tax, that makes it impossible for them to get off with big write offs and over payed accountants.  It now creates an equal playing field, creating a you play, you pay economy that would move a hell of lot more money than the meager pay roll taxes that we are currently spending and receiving.

 A while ago I joined a site that gets folks to sign petitions to get action from government officials.  The reason that I joined was to prevent the slaughter of a military woman’s dog that she befriended in Iraq.  I felt at the time the woman had gone through a lot as it was, and that the senseless death of her beloved friend would be more than some one should have to endure.  It was a cause that I believed in after listening to the stories of my little brother after returning from his third tour of war over in Iraq.  That was a cause that I felt had some great merritt to it.  But because of having to join the site to sign the petition I am now receiving numerous requests to sign dozens if not more requests each and every month.  Many of which I just can’t do, because of my personal beliefs.  The numerous ones being to prevent drilling for oil in our very own country.

Living in Wyoming we are left with hundreds of square miles with nothing in between here and there.  We are forced to commute to jobs or are forced to move from where we want to live to places we will be forced to live.  So for most of us the need to commute is a constant reminder of how isolated Wyoming is from the rest of the world.  That being said the need for cheep and affordable fuel is extremely important.  I can remember fondly when gas rose over $4 bucks a gallon and I was constantly asking myself if it was monetarily worth while to work, or to join the hundreds of others in this country and begin to live off the system.  Then we were blessed with the drop in gas prices after the market collapsed in the fuel commodities.  I nearly danced for joy in the streets of my town buck naked because I was so over joyed.  But once again the prices are slowly climbing back up, and the environmentalists are in an uproar over off shore drilling as well as drilling more in the Alaskan tundra.  While I can see the idea of not drilling in the ocean due to the fact of the low return for the monetary means and environmental dangers put to risk each and every day of operation.  I can not, nor will I ever see the reason for preventing drilling in the Alaskan tundra.  That to me is just plain Stupid.

First off, if you look at what is in the tundra you would see very quickly that there is little to nothing there.  For the most part animals don’t even live in the area due to the constant cold and poor food sources of algae and Arctic mosses.  So what are we really loosing with drilling there.  A place for folks to come and take pictures of strange grasses and molds.  Please, this is so stupid that I can not even come up with a strong rebuttal to the problem.  I feel for the most part that people are against drilling for oil just because of what it is.  Not, for the purpose of the danger it may or may not post to the environment that it resides in.  There is a need for oil in this country until we can come up with sustainable and affordable meas to provide fuels for long distances for those of us that live in rural America.

The idea of the tree hugging, nut crunching vegans that want to control every square inch of this country has to come to an end.  I have to ask you this major question to those of you that find yourself in this category of believers.  Do you walk or bike every where you go?  Do you live in the wilderness in a tent so as to not bring more of a demand to the need of oil dependency in this country?  If not, then what are you really speaking out about?  You are using the same fossil fuels that I am using just to get to work.  I know, I know, you can take the bus in most major cities.  But for the most part those vehicles use fuel to operate.  You have heat in your homes, and hot water and unless you are independently wealthy you are having to use some form of fossil fuel to get those luxuries of life.  To put the matter to rest unless you can live this life and are currently doing it with out damaging the environment or causing pain to it yourself then we need to look at things a little bit differently.  The need for oil is constant and growing.  Everything in this country is shipped into it, through it, or out of it with fuels that are found from drilling.  We can either drill for it ourselves, or support extremist nations by buying it from them.

Now for point number two.  I know many of you out there are saying to yourselves that you could get a hybrid to use less fuel, or maybe an electric car.  To squash both of those ideas at once is easy.  The idea of a hybrid would be nice but the cost for most Americans makes them unattainable.  I don’t have the disposable income necessary to purchase another vehicle that I would have to drive another forty miles out of my way just to find a place to fill up with E-85 fuels.  Or for those that work off both electric and fuel, I would have to question how well they work in cold, cold, environments.  See the manufactures like to test them in places like California where you never experience temperatures as low as -20 degrees.  I unfortunately do experience these temperatures and have to question their performance in extremely cold temperatures.  Then for the full electric car.  The car will not work for me.  I commute for a total of 120 miles each day, five days a week.  Most electric cars have a range of less than a 100 miles.  So then what, do I grab the neighbors horse to come and get me for the rest of the trip?  Then you are forced to ask yourself the question of, where does the electricity come from?  Most power plants are powered using some form of fossil fuel, whether it be from coal powered plants or some other form.  So even with dropping out the need for oil we are still dependant with a fuel that has to be harvested with destroying the environment we live in.

So in close, I would like to leave you with this.  If you are against the drilling of oil in this country, then stop using it.  Unplug your refrigerator, turn off your T.V.’s, computers, heaters and the lot.  Don’t drink your water because it has been cleaned and filtered using electricity and fossil fuels.  Live in the woods and please don’t start a fire because of the air pollution that you would be causing and deforestation that would result from your Californian ass having to stay warm.  If you can’t live life under these circumstances then join the military.  Go over seas and join the war on terror or like many folks like to say the war for oil and do your part in securing the oil from our over seas enemies.  Until then, push for the use of renewable resources.  Not just putting up wind turbines in my back yard, but in your homes as well.  Put those solar panels on every roof in America and push the failing auto makers to really come up with rock solid solutions to this global problem.  Put the fight to the areas that really need it.

When working as a bus driver you have to put up with all sorts of discomforts.  From the lack of bathroom breaks, bad weather, sick students that sit behind you and cough all over you, to the vast array of food odors coming from different cultures.  But, nothing compares to the annoyance of the invisible cell phone bubble.

What is the cell phone bubble you might be asking yourself?  Let me enlighten you.  It is the invisible barrier that supposedly surrounds the speaker on the phone, that prevents others from having to listen to their conversations.  While I’m sure it does exist, I have yet to be able to experience this strange phenomenon.  See for some reason people believe that while speaking on their cell phones that they are the only ones that can hear what is going on in the conversation.  Here is just one example of what I was forced to endure in my five minute drive from hell.

The conversation started out like this.  Astrix’s will be used to protect my readers from the filth that flew from this young woman’s mouth.  “Hey b****, what’s up?  Oh really.  F****in aye.  Ya, I went to that party this Saturday.  Not a whole lot happened, except I got really F***in tore the hell up.  Then I saw this guy that I wanted to F*** right then and there.  So I told him to do my F****in A** right there on the middle of the floor.  Listener must of said some sort of reply.  I don’t F***in care what people think.  If they don’t want to F***in watch they can F*** off.”  I’ll stop there because I am sure you are getting the jest of how this conversation was going.  Unfortunately for me she was sitting right beside me, so I was forced to endure this triad of language coming from this young woman.  I can only imagine what her mother must have thought if she would of had to listen to this filth for five minutes like the other 57 people on the bus had to.  Oh I forgot to mention to you that I don’t listen to my radio because of a complaint I got about it being too loud.  After this example you can see first hand why I usually turned it up to drown out the noise.

I mean, come on, what does this woman have wrong with her.  First off she is screaming all most into this phone like it is an old tin can with string connected to the recipient on the other end.  For some reason most people think that because it is a cell phone that they have to yell into the thing so that the person on the other end can hear what is being said.  Then to not even care about the people around you even one bit.  Who needs to hear your lack of vocabulary prowess while driving in an enclosed cab of a germ ridden environment just to get to class?  For some reason the moral fiber that we once had in this country has been replaced with the attitude that it is all about me.  I say what I want, when I want, who cares that it might offend some one.  The sad thing is that when she got on the bus later that day I asked her what her major was, to be astonished that it was elementary education.  I can’t imagine how that job interview would go, well yea I can.  I think it would have to sound something like this.

“Miss So&So why do you think you are the most qualified for this job?”  Followed by the reply of “Because it would be the best F***in decision you have ever made in your F***in life.  I would teach all of them little B***es on how to be the best beer bonging winners that elementary has ever F***in experienced.  So when do I get the F***in job?”  Which would be followed by the statement of “We’ll call you.  Don’t call us.”

So until this magical barrier seems to be made for cell phone users, please remember one thing.  You are not in your house all by yourself.  You are out in the world where others have to live as well.  And yes the phone is working and you don’t have to yell into it.  Followed with the life long idea of talk like a duck, walk like a duck, well then I guess you must be a duck.  But in this case I would have to say more like a Wh*re.

For those of you just joining us today we are continuing our topic from yesterday.  I know, I know, was supposed to do that yesterday but some one needs to tell the other city council members that, so they can leave me alone some times.  So lets give a quick catch up for those that may be just joining us.  After arriving to my appointment for the meeting with the councilor I was left sitting in the waiting room for over twenty minutes to later be told that the councilor didn’t get the information that he was supposed to meet with me that day.  So to say the least I left there feeling rather irate, no pissed off is a better term for my feelings on that sunny afternoon.  So rather than going home I called my wife to let her know what was going on and she frantically began calling folks to get me scheduled some where for that day so sent me to lunch while I awaited the call back.  During that down time I received a phone call from the shrink that blew me off begging me to come in and speak with him.  Thought to myself, hell no, but what the heck lets go see this guy and really give him a piece of my mind.  Who knows maybe we can salvage this missed relationship and find some working arrangement that can help fix my predicament.

So after lunch ran over there to meet this mental savior to be greeted by a nut eating, tree crying, spiritualist.  Let’s just say that the initial impression was anything but grand.  Here was a blond headed guy that thought he was a mixture of Mister Rogers meets Pocahontas.  Come on, I’m spiritual, but let’s face it this is never going to work out.  But never the less, gave him a full hour of trying to save face and work with me to see what we can get worked out.  During this time I gradually became more and more agitated and was looking for any sort of sharp object that could be used to end this misery that I was enduring.  Let’s just explain for those of you that may be thinking I was rather suicidal at this time, I wasn’t.  To end a bad experience there are two ways of doing it, leave and never go back, or get rid of the thing causing the bad experience.  So after eyeing some scissors on his desk thought for a moment, a long moment of just ending my torment of spiritual enlightenment by driving them deep into his skull and pretending that he fell down on them during one of his faith building exercises.  Then it gets worse.  After listening to his psycho babble for all most an hour he breaks out his notebook to schedule some follow up visits for the weeks to come.  Then he hits me with the greatest insult I have ever received.  He told me “Well due to the fact that I missed our original meeting, I would like to give you four sessions free of charge to make up for my mistake.”  What the hell, was my mind something that should be bartered for by a few dollars saved here and there only to come out of here as as nut chewing, plant saving, sierra club joining man.  Happy to cry in public and walk through life wearing a T-shirt that reads “Real men can cry too” in bright pink with sparkling blue letters.  I thought to myself rather quickly on how we can end this horrific relationship and not have to kill any one and replied “Well let me get back to you, I am meeting with another councilor later today and would like to see how that goes.”  Then here it came, a out and out lie that to this day makes me cringe just thinking about it.  He replied to that, “No I think we should stay working together, we seem to be really hitting it off.”  What in the world did he sit through this past hour because what he saw and I saw were two totally different things.  See let me explain.  I moved to Wyoming when I was two years old.  So for the most part this is where I grew up for most of my life.  I am a 6′3″, 330 pound man that enjoys hunting, fishing, and a born again Republican.  What in the world do I have in common with this weird duck.  Let alone, what does he have in common with a rage filled man that could snap his neck in two seconds flat if things go very wrong, and let me tell you there were several times during that hour that I really wanted to do so.  So to put the matter to rest and to move on with the story I just said, “I’ll think about it and get back you.”  Leaving the room very quickly before he could try for round two of his used car approach of high impact brain sales.

Lucky for me that during lunch my wife was able to get another councilor to schedule me in for that day while he and his wife were at lunch.  So rather quickly I hopped into my car and headed over to this new location to try round two of my brain saving experience.  I arrived to the building in a matter of minutes and took a deep breath and walked into the room to be greeted with some old fashioned rock and roll.  Oh my, not that sappy elevator music that is supposed to calm you down with ocean sounds, and rain filled escapades.  Some good old fashioned classic rock from the eighties.  I thought to myself now this is a place that I could get used to.  Walking through the hall to the receptionist I was greeted with a warm smiling person that was very nice and cheerful as she handed my folder of paperwork to fill out, along with a snack, a bottle of water, and a comfy chair to sit in while I filled it all out.  With in minutes not hours, the councilor was ready to see me.  Here we go round two was about to begin and I thought to myself if Mr. Rogers comes out here, I’m out and never going to return.  But what am I greeted with but a burly man that used to live in a town not far from where I grew up.  After a few minutes I could see we were really going to hit it off.  He understood me, he had worked in the mines in Wyoming for some years till he hurt his back and couldn’t do it any longer.  Instead of living off the system he went back to school and got his degree in counseling and created this clinic.  Great thing was that they had a psychiatrist there as well so that we would be working with him as well to try and find a regiment of drugs that might work to help as well.

Whala, finally found that guy that could help me get through life one day at a time.  He was great, a man that cared about his patients, not his checkbook.  He cared so much that he would waive the fees for the first three visits I would have at the beginning till the co-pay would begin kicking in from my insurance.  Then not stop there, he would right off the remaining balance that I was going to have so that my total visit price was FREE.  Not only between him and the psychiatrist, did they diagnose me with bi-polar disorder they would work around my schedule not there’s as to when we were going to meet.  Then to top the matter off, he knew that if this was really going to work we needed to bring in my wife as well so we could discuss triggers and feelings as they were happening each and every day.

While I would like to say that I am 100% cured that would be a lie.  But now I am off of my medication with a few outbursts from time to time but nothing like it was before.  I wish each and every day that I wouldn’t have to go through this, but God had another plan.  See the bible tells us that He doesn’t give us more than what we can handle at any given time.  The key word being what He thinks we can handle, not what we want to handle.  So for the most part he must see more in me than I see in myself and I should try to find joy in this even when I’m a rampaging monster.  So for all of you out there living through this illness, get some help.  It is better to get help now, than when you are no longer here any more and people are left with the question “Why?”.

First off, I would like to say I am sorry to all my wonderful readers.  I have not been able to post much due to the fact of the busy evenings with city council stuff.  Man being the mayor of even a small town is a logistical nightmare.  I have been getting an average of four hours of sleep most nights until last night.  After watching one of my favorite T.V. shows “Criminal Minds” I told my wife that I was going to bed for a while.  That was around 5pm, finally got my backside out of bed this morning at 3:30 to work on my entrecard drops, man never slept that long in a very long time.  Must of needed it because I’m rearing and ready to get back to my blog this weekend.  So for a while will be posting twice a day for all of your reading enjoyments.  So with out further adoo, lets get started.

After watching the latest episode of “Criminal Minds” I was talking with the wife about it.  One of the lines that they were using really stuck with me.  See when they finally caught he serial killer he was talking with agent Rossi and told him about he would be willing to be studied for more information in prison.  He knew that the FBI would have a lot of questions for him and he had a lot of them for them.  And the major one that the criminal had was the question of why.  Why was it that when he saw some folks he just thought how much he wanted to take a brick and hit them upside the head with it, and at that time I looked at my wife and said man I’m getting closer and closer to becoming a serial killer just sort of laughing about it.  Then it hit me, with my style of bi-polar disorder it is closer at times than I am even comfortable with.  See unlike many folks style of depression followed by a time of manic bliss, my disorder works differently.  I go from calm ever go lucky Joe, to Frankenstein in two seconds flat.  It’s sort of funny to look back during counseling and realizing that at times during my one hour class that there were times I could cycle about 5-6 times.  That is the scary part for me, because I had never been that type of person before.  See, I had always been the type of person that it took to get really riled up.  I never got mad at most anything unless you were messing with my friends or family.  I just sort of went through life and was happy to be experiencing it.  Then after I got married my life changed.  For once in my life I was responsible for some one else.  No longer could I just sit by and let the world control my actions it was time to take a stand.  And that is when things began to spiral out of control.  Now do not look at me and say that I am blaming my wife for this development, for no way would I do that.  This is my illness and it just happened to raise its nasty head during this time in my life.  If it had not been for her support and constant love even when I am acting like an ass, I never would of been able to make it through this.  So for a moment lets take a step back and see how it all started, who knows maybe it will take you to a better place in your own life as well.

Like I said it all started about the second year of marriage.  Life was going really well had a good job and we were doing very well for ourselves.  Then it it all started to change in a drop of a hat, went from letting things just slide off my shoulders to taking it all personal.  Even though I noticed the problem I would not do anything about it because of the fact that in Wyoming you just don’t get help, you muscle through it.  We are a strange breed over here that is for sure.  So I noticed for a couple months that things just were not right with me but I decided to just muscle through it.  Wrong choice, if this is you, swallow your pride and get some help and get it now.  There is nothing wrong with admitting you need it, and no shame in going out and finding it.  Just get er done, as we like to say around here.  And yet I couldn’t draw myself to getting it done.  Until the one day some younger adults in Wall-mart met serial killer that is dwelling inside.

See, I am the type of person that believes manners are important.  You should treat others with the same respect that you desire for yourself.  A part of me would like to have lived during the wild west, when you lived by respect or some one taught you what respect was.  This was one of those days, almost that is.  My wife and I were walking through Wall-mart, the store of from hell doing some shopping and were coming out of the automotive department and were going through the narrow aisles with blind corners when I nearly bumped into some young men with my cart.  So I said what every one should say when they are in the wrong, “I’m sorry”.  This should be followed with the canned response of “No problem”, and the dialogue is over and life moves on.  No hit not foul, leave it at that and walk away.  Not on this day, God needed to provide me with a wake up call that even my stubborn Wyoming butt could not miss.  The tallest of the young men looked at me and said “Better watch it old man”.  That was the straw that broke the camels back.  See, I believe if you flap your lips you better be able to stand up to what you through out there.  And on that day I about crossed over to say howdy, in a way that the whole town of Laramie would of seen in the papers.  As I pushed my cart out of my way I proceeded to follow them and ask them the not so canned response of “Or what”.  I had reached my boiling point and now this was the time, the place, and the reason to show these three young men what respect was, the old school way.  After being held onto by my wife for an aisle and a half that is when I realized I needed help.  Little did I know that getting help from a councilor or psychiatrist was harder than it looked.

First place we called said it would take a month to two months to get you in.  Hearing those words I replied with the statement if “If I kill some one between now and then do I get in faster?”  Her reply to me was even better “Yes, you would.  Not to see our councilors here but the state funded ones that tend to work in Rawlins”  For those of you that don’t know it, Rawlins is where the state penitentiary is located.  Strike out on first phone call so began with phone call number two.  Same response.  Okay third time should be the home run hit.  Nope, same response.  After the fifth call I found a place that would get me in to see a therapist.  Yee haw I said when my wife told me the great news, she had to start calling I was getting too mad.  So we set up an appointment on a Monday because those were my days off during the work week.  So I hopped in the car that morning and headed over to town to meet this emotional savior that was going to help me get my life back in order.  And if this is the first time you are reading my blog to get to town is a 120 miles round trip.  I arrived early for my appointment like I always do and the receptionist walked out of her office and told me to have a seat and, what ever his name was, would be come and get me shortly.  So I sat in the waiting room and waited.  Five minutes, turned into ten minutes, ten turned into twenty and so on.  I sat there patiently because that is what you are supposed to be doing in the waiting room and believed that maybe he had one hell of a session going on and it was taking a little longer.  Pet peeve number 187 but we will get into that at a later time.  Finally the receptionist walked out and asked why I was still sitting there?  Numerous answers were running through my head, most of them involved four letter words and wouldn’t make much sense so I went with the next sarcastic thing that ran off my lips, “I really was enjoying the elevator music.”  Must of caught her by surprise because the look she gave me after that was priceless, so I had to follow up with the doctor hasn’t come to get me yet.  Come to find out he didn’t know he was supposed to have a visit on this day, so he didn’t bother coming into the office.  I said okay and thank you and walked out.  To say that I was mad would be and understatement.  So I called my wife at home to let her in on what just happened.  But the rest of the story we will bring out for the second round on this day.

Until we meet again remember this, what one person calls a trial others would think of as a blessing.  Attitude controls altitude in life, so change your attitude to fly with the eagles each and every day.

One of the greatest things in this country is a person’s freedom of speech.  While I do not condone all forms of free speech I do believe that whether or not I agree with it, they should be able to say it or write it.  That being said, I really love the open availability to blog about what ever I find interesting or passionate about.  As well as allowing each and every reader a free way to comment on those very personal posts.  What does that mean, see I feel that if a person takes the time to read what I have written they should then be given an opportunity to comment on that even if I do not agree with what they are saying.  They have invested the time to read so I should give them the opportunity to reply.  I feel that stifling that ability or to censor their comments would be a violation of their very precious freedom of speech.

So when I am out doing my entrecard drops to help increase traffic I find it very aggravating to go and comment on something that I have read to be told that it must be approved before it appears on the comment section.  What the HELL?  I have taken the time out of my very busy schedule to read through their latest post, go through the action of commenting on it, only to see the ever so annoying comment of “Comment is waiting for authors approval or awaiting moderation from author.”  That just sends me into a bi-polar fit faster than having to go through the self check out isle at Wallmart.  I mean come on, what does it hurt to read what I reply to?  Did you not stick the post on the world wide web, so that hundreds if not thousands can come and take a look.  Who are you to decide who gets to comment and who doesn’t?  Better yet, who are you to decide what comments are worth others reading?

As an example, my wife recently posted about a health situation that she was having to go through at this time.  You can see the article at From Huskies to Husbands to see what she is going through so I won’t go into details about that post.   Then it happened she got a negative comment basically calling her crazy and that she needs to see a shrink from a so called doctor.  While I do not know if Joe is or isn’t a doctor he has the freedom to post a reply based on her presentation of information.  I for one would like to meet him some time and explain to him what it is like to live with her after reading such frivolous information, though I know that will never happen.  But after reading that response she was furious and rightfully so.  That is her life some one is just callously speaking about for God’s sake.  But right wrong or indiferent, he expressed his freedom of speech.  While I do not agree with him on his beliefs for the situation I believe he should be given the freedom to reply with an unedited response.  Then the new comments came pouring in that stated she should do the unspeakable act of “Deleting It”.  My goodness, what has America come to now.  If I don’t agree with what some has to say about something, I now have the freedom to just DELETE IT.  What would happen if the whole country took on this same approach.  After spending my fifteen to twenty minutes to vote, only to get a response from the feds that states, “Thank you for voting, but after careful consideration we decided to delete your vote because it was skewing our projected winners out come.  Please feel free to vote again in the coming years maybe next time you will choose the winner we want to have in there.  Thank you and have a nice day.”

So in a final note to all those bloggers out there that are now reeling in anger towards me, I must close in this.  You put it out there.  You spent the time to write your posts and put them on your blogs, so give the reader the freedom to reply.  Whether you agree with them or not.  And never, under any circumstance delete or edit them in any way.  The moment we begin to do that, then we have stepped all over the one freedom that allows us to do this very act.

Working as a pastor in a small community can be a rewarding and a discouraging job all rolled up in one.  See, for many of us we look at what God does in so many larger communities and then wonder why he chooses not to work the same way he does over there.  Adding to that, I suffer from bi-polar disorder and some times I just want to run into my bedroom and lock the door never to reamerge.  But, that is not an option when called to serve in this profession.  Last Friday night was not one of those days.  To see God work in such a grand way was something that I just needed to share with the world around me.

When I started preaching at this small church there were many challenges that lead the way.  With a small church there are only so many folks there that can help with the work, and those folks at times get real tired, real quick.  After a while there was a family of ranch hands that worked to bring a spark into every thing they did.  The husband taught the adult Sunday School class, his wife was working tirelessly to create a spirit filled worship service.  And to top it all off they had a wonderful daughter named Denalli.  She was a bundle of joy that filled the sanctuary with a quiet joy that just moved through the adults like a breath of fresh air.  Then with out warning they had to move back to South Dakota and take this great family of servants away from the fold.  As a pastor you think, shucks.  But for every action that God takes there is a reason that he is taking it.

Shortly after moving to South Dakota the family had baby number two.  Things looked as though they were going to have a great family, filled with adventures of never ending love and joy.  That was farther from the truth when they found out that Denalli suffered from SMA type II.  SMA is a spinal muscular atrophy that affects the larger muscles in the child’s legs, preventing them from developing fully.  At this time there is not a cure for this disease and for the most part it is also fatal.  We listened in horror as the news was brought to this church.  Why in the world would God choose to blight this loving family with so much hurt when things were looking so grand?  While I will never know the answer to the fullest, I am grateful to the members of the church standing up and saying “How can we help?”.  Well there were numerous ideas that were flooding through the minds of those around us as to what we could do to get the ball rolling.  We decided to do a benefit dinner at a local high school game to see just how much we could raise to help with their medical bills and treatments.  This is were things just went crazy and God took over to make a grand success.

See in Wyoming there are a few games that seem to bring out the biggest crowds and we choose what should have been one of those games.  We bought the food and planned to feed 100 people dinner at $6.00 a plate.  When I got to the game my heart dropped there were maybe 50 people there if you counted every person that was playing and sitting on the bleachers.  I looked out and just shook my head and said to God its in your hands now, I guess what ever you bring us is what we are supposed to get.  As the dinner started folks were really getting discouraged.  In the first hour or so we maybe served five meals and packages of nachos rolled out of the booster club concession stand like they were on fire.  Then without warning the wave hit, five meals became ten.  Ten became twenty and so on.  The movement was staggering we were serving food as fast as we could as I was getting excited after washing each and every lunch tray that was brought back.  Oh I forgot to tell you, the High School let us use their kitchen, trays, cooking utensils, warming trays, everything they had at our disposal.  Well while I would like to tell you that we served all hundred of our meals that would be a lie, we fell short by around 16 or so.  So the real amount of money that we should have seen was around $504 big ones.  Not bad for one nights worth of work, but just not grand either.  Then we started counting the money and hearing the stories that were being told by the ones taking the money.

See, we also had a bake sale going on at the same time, and was able to get a little more money from that as well.  But the other thing was a donation jar set up at the table as well and more and more people were dropping more money into that and just walking off.  Never really paying attention to what was dropped in until later we realized there were your normal $1, $5, and then a few $20’s, and even more $50’s.  It was exciting to see what folks were dropping off to help this little girl many of them have never met.  Even in these tough economical times folks reached into their much guarded billfolds and gave from the heart.

But one story stands out from all the rest.  There were two adults that came into eat and bought two dinners.  Total cost was $12 bucks, and they payed with a $100.  When the lady running the cash box began to get them their change they smiled and said keep it.  Keep It they said.  While I am a type of person that tips extremely well for great service I have never given someone a $88 dollar tip for six tacos, some rice, beans, cake, and a small glass of drink when I didn’t even get a refill.  They even had to pick up their own dishes and bring them to me so I could wash them.  This was truly one of those wonderful experiences where we were able to see God’s full movement from a persons heart.  After counting all the money given we were able to raise $1017.71.  And even more donations are planning on coming in as the days move forward.

If you would like to see more of what is going on in this child’s fight against SMA check out her web-page at CaringBridge .  Here is a picture of her as well riding a horse with her daddy.  I hope you too, can experience the joy from this family with this one picture, like I have each time I pray for this little child.

The question for the day is this, “What happened to customer service?”  I for one would like to know.  It seems that gone are the days of the customer is all ways right and is now replaced with the attitude that I will help you if I feel like it.  While I interact with the public all day long my interactions are very short and too the point, followed by a brief thank you as they exit the bus.  But nothing gets me going faster than having to put up with poor customer service.  Lucky for most people, I am not the one that gets stuck doing the grocery shopping for my family.  If so my bi-polar rants would most definitely get me black listed from most of if not all of the grocery stores in Laramie, Wyoming.

Recently, my wife was grocery shopping and came along a great buy for chuck roast at the Safeway store in Laramie, Wyoming.  She is a mad shopper that always looks to get the best bang for our buck.  So when we see a great cut of roast on sale or round steaks we always go to the butcher and ask them to grind it for us into hamburger.  This was no exception on this fine winter day.  She picked up two roasts from the case and got the butchers assistant to take the meat back to be ground.  Then the tirade began pouring out like a waterfall of cuss words from Richard Prior.  While he was behind closed doors it was not a problem to hear what was being said and how loud he was saying it.  Then like an angel of death the assistant returned with the ground meat that was just ground through once.  For those of you that have never worked in a butcher shop that results in leaving big chucks of fat as large as a fifty cent piece at odd intervals throughout the package of meat.  Lucky for him I was not there, or my bi-polar rant would of involved an irate customer entering the infamous butchers shop and having a face to face interaction with my packaged meat.

What was he so mad about, was it not his job to cut meat and package it for the general public looking to buy it.  It would be like going to see a heart surgeon for an open heart surgery to find out he only works on testicles, and then bitch about it because he was actually going to have to work on hearts instead.

But my wife’s story does not stop there.  After receiving this cellophane package of fat and meat my wife decided to go and complain to the store manager.  Or to word it better, attempted dialogue with store manager.  Upon reaching the service counter she was told rather rudely I might add that the store manager was out of the building.  When she asked to speak with the second in command she was informed they were out of the building as well.  It seems that every one in charge of this wonderful supermarket goes to lunch any time some one wants to complain about something.

While I do not understand why some one complains about doing their job I understand folks can have a bad day.  But how bad of a day would this fine gentleman have if every one decided to stop buying meat at this location?  I wonder how long it would take for this greed driven company to replace his wonderful meat counter with a vegan counter full of chilled tofu and patches of hydroponic wheat grass.  While the wheat grass would have to be cut yourself due to the fact that providing employees to better serve the needs of customers seems to have faded just as fast as basic customer service.  After all of that I wonder if he would look back and realize that his job could have been spared from the long line of company cut backs, had he just spent a few extra minutes a day going the extra mile for his customers with just a smile and a thank you.

I have worked in the public sector for most of my working life.  From working in a local grocery store, waiter, cook, or water delivery person, I have done it all.  I have even worked as a Kirby door to door salesman, selling over priced vacuum cleaners to the general public.  Never did I complain to a customer as a bottled water delivery driver when I had to deliver water in three feet of unshoveled snow, or battle mad dogs looking to remove my man jewels for their chewing delights.  Or complain to the cat ladies whose houses smelled like a giant litter box when they wanted to talk to you for a few minutes while the whole time trying to hold my breath.  I just took it each and every day because they were the customer and they were the only reason why I was there.

I never once forget how I was getting paid.  When working with the public they are the ones that paid my salary each and every day.  They were the ones that supplemented my wages as a waiter with a few extra dollars here and there for prompt and courteous service.  While at times I would of liked nothing better than to poor a cup of scolding soup over their self righteous heads, I refrained and answered every request with a “Yes, Sir”, “Right away, mam.”  Or the rehearsed yet sounding sincere farewell of saying “Please come again.”  Even though I was begging and pleading with God that they would never again grace this establishment with their needing requests and poor manners.  For without customers I would not have a job.  No job meant no money, and no money meant no BEER.

Wow, what an exciting time to be nominated for an award.  I received the famed “Lemonade Award”.  Must be due to the fact I cut my hair this weekend and look human again.  Good things seem to happen to me when I cut my hair all off hehe.  I was nominated by FromHuskiesToHusbands .  This award is given to blogs which show great attitude and or gratitude.

Now for the rules…

Rules for the award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Nominate your favorites and link to this post.

And my nominees are…

1. Everyday Living
2. Confessions of a Fitness Diva
3. Ask Ms Recipe
4. Redhead Ranting
5. Following 31
6. Retro Yakking
7. Your Dark Passenger
8. Sound of a Soft Breath
9. Back to School for GrownUps
10. Its Completely Nipplelicious

Just want to say thank you to all those great droppers for stopping by this month of January.  I never would of been able to reach my goal of over 3000 UV’s the first month of operation without your dedicated support this month.  So with out further ado these are my top droppers for the month of January:

Politics 2000 :  A blog about politics for people who want to know what’s happening but who may not be able to spend all day watching C-SPAN or trying to decipher the spin of other outlets.
Your Dark Passenger :  All those dark and delighting things that go bump in the night or bump within us…

Lights Camera Action :  A Houston centric blog with social, media, and lifestyle based original videos tracking the South Asian scene. Also watch movie trailers or catch up on the latest news and more.

From Huskies to Husbands :  A blog about my life in small town Wyoming. Includes living dairy-free, exercise, weight loss, and more.

Enjoy Work As Leisure :  Life is less stressful if we enjoy work as leisure. After all, work is only a game.

Exchange of Realities :  A blog that hybridizes techniques for roleplaying and writing to help people improve at both.

Ride Safe :  This blog is aimed at people that want to get their motorcycle license or anyone who ever thought they might like to ride a motorcycle or scooter. It is quite non-brand specific.
A Malaysian Abroad :  Join a Malaysian/Swiss mutt currently living in Chicago in observing, comparing and celebrating the similarities and differences between Malaysia, Switzerland and the USA.

Being Bipolar :  Learning to live with bipolar disorder: Information and tips for coping with bipolar disorder. Personal stories and advice make this site a must read

Sound Of A Soft Breath :  “Avoid silence, avoid solitude, avoid any train of thought that leads off the beaten track. Concentrate on money, sex, status, health, and (above all) on your own grievances. Keep the radio on. Live in a crowd. Use plenty of sedation…” Have you given this a try?